The War On Water, its not as good for you as you think!

TERROR THREAT LEVEL RAISED! CAN YOU HEAR ME SHOUTING?!

Following the alleged plot to blow up transatlantic airliners with liquid explosives disguised in soft drinks a new and unlikely front has opened in this war. The War On Drink.
A colour coded system for dealing with potentially dangerous beverage situations has been poured out.

At one end of the range of deadly drinks is the hot/unstable category which includes anything hot with foam from Starbucks. Although the liquid itself is not dangerous, the temperature of the drink makes it unstable for a short-space of time. As a precautionary measure, all Starbucks are being fitted with anti-spillage concrete blocks to be placed in the vicinity of all outlets. The government says the effectivness of Starbucks manufactured lids for the cups is unproved and could fail at a critical point and has advised patrons that they use these at their own risk.

The Department Of Homeland Security has made it clear that the War On Drink should not be confused with a similar War On Drink waged many decades ago. That War involved just one person; current President Bush. Although that War had a successful outcome, its cousin, the War On Drugs caused too much permanent damaged to be declared won.

In short, if we have to declare that sheep are a potential terrorist weapon to keep you scared, be assured; we WILL take them out!


Be afraid, be very afraid, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, but first we'll tap your phone and read your email.