355 Days Left ; No-One Expects Anything Anymore

The State Of The Union speech was given by the President this week and, he didn't even try to redeem himself.

Mr Bush is relying heavily on history being his judge. So in thirty or forty years, at least they'll be able to put a name-to-the-face responsible for the state of international relations and delays in environmental protection.

Tell The Truthiness ; No-one is going to mind if Mr Bush just sits quietly in his office and reads some of those books he missed out on. Really, go ahead, put your feet up, you've done enough, you really have.

DVD Extras! 120 Minutes Of State Of The Union Highlights That Weren't In The Original Film!

Here, exclusively, unedited are the unedited highlights that you may have missed from the State Of The Union address.



Someone should have told the guy controlling Dick Cheney's eyelids to pull the string every once in a while.

What Were You Doing During The State Of The Union Daddy?

After President Bush's State Of The Union last night, it's clear that most people didn't watch the speech, all over the country and the World people greeted his speech in varying ways, but one thing linked them; no-one could sit still.

In Iraq , people did watch, afterwards they said it was the best piece of fiction since the premiere episode of NBC's smash-hit 'Heroes'.

In the UK, due to the time difference, those who did watch were mostly drunk or insomniacs. Once the country woke up, they mostly just tut-tutted and said ''those batty Americans''.

On Capitol Hill, Senator McCain fell asleep, Speaker Pelosi refused to applaud and stand during Iraq troop increase announcements and Vice-President Dick Cheney decided to get out his mobile phone and do a little texting.

If you don't believe us, watch him below.

Pres Bush's Got A List ; He's Checking It Twice

In two stories we're covering today, we can see both of them colliding head on and leaving several newspaper readers dead.

Tonight President Bush's State Of The Union address will be mostly just a list of the candidates who are not running for the 2008 Presidential election.

The Truthiness Blog has been leaked some details of the speech, here's an extract of the list of those not running,

- Jennifer Aniston

- Judi Dench

- Eddie Murphy

- Lou Dobbs (confirmed)

- Martin Sheen (he's busy studying)

- Paris Hilton (for the sake of our union)

- George W Bush

- Barney Bush

- Gerald Ford

- C Montgomery Burns

This list is subject to change, as a result, campaigners for Barney Bush '08 have started making placards.

They claim he can't do any worse than his owner.