Friday, December 15, 2006

Air Safety Loophole Big Enough To Fly A Fat, Rusk-Stuffed Baby Through

Just as the Christmas travel season gets underway and travellers were reassured with carry-on restrictions being eased several weeks ago, The Truthiness's London Office can reveal new regulations.

From midnight Sunday, all carry on babies will need to be x-rayed to ensure the safety of the aircraft. There is thought to be an additional security charge planned to be added to all airline tickets departing the UK from January to cover the charge for cleaning the x-ray scanner interiors of baby sick, baby poo and rusk crumbs.

Passengers are being advised to cut down on security queues by arriving at the airport with babies in a grey plastic tray or to check-in online and have those under 5 years old air-freighted to their destination and cut out the middleman all together.

The Royal Association Of Small People, RASP, is expected to release a statement on Saturday. Its rumoured that their Managing Director, on hearing the news, collapsed to the floor, kicked and punched the ground with his hands and feet and screamed and screamed until he went red faced.

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