Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Election Pressure Is Too Much As Voting Machines Explode

In a late breaking story tonight, voters in several districts have reported problems with electronic touch-screen voting machines.

It was initially reported that the problems were simply teething, however the Truthiness Blog can exclusively reveal the problem is due to all the machines being unable to add up. Some of the advance version machines which have attempted to add the votes in the first districts to close polling stations have simply exploded, causing localised damaged and crucially, losing all voting details.

A voter Micheal Anderson, who witnessed such an explosion said '' I was walking in the door when a small amount of smoke began leaking out the back of the machine in the corner of the room, then there was a bright flash and loud bang. When the smoke cleared the elderly lady who'd been using the machine was no-where to be seen. Someone screamed and pointed upwwards and there she was sitting on the ceiling fan, still clutching her ' I Voted ' button. If this is how dangerous voting is, I think I won't bother''.

Mr Anderson then went home and switched on CNN to see the election results, but mainly to see if any voting machine explosions had been caught by a 'I-Report' reporter.

Election officials have refused to say whether at the next election they will employ a more controversial technology which is being called ballet papers and ballet boxes. President Bush said he didn't touch this 'modern-hoo-doo stuff'.

  • See those voting machines explode here
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